Second Grade Match Report
Needing to win by a large margin 2nds were forced to make changes due to injuries/people getting lost on the way to the ground etc right up until kick off. With Coach Parker still recovering from his mid-week operation Paul Kendall took over the coaching duties. His pre-game use of the white board to illustrate his now legendary tap move “The Wall” was an eye opening innovation given some of the players were not yet born when PK first tried it under match conditions. No doubt its complexity led to the slow start by seconds in their bid for a high score and perhaps a major semi birth. The fact that PK always gets the ball in the Wall caused a lot of confusion as he was never on the field yet his pre- game white board illustrations did show him getting the ball.
English refugee and committed tree hugger Concs taped his ears up and locked the scrum. His speed off the back of rucks (which he never went in anyway) saw him get 2 tries. It was a game for records with Mitch Ward (sometime sidekick of try scoring superstar Julio Spagbowler) getting across the line for 2 meat pies. In his battle with the Mexican WWF superstar Mitchy is now only one try adrift of getting first splash at Spagbowler’s next spa and tacho night.
Controversy continued when for some 40 minutes after the final whistle and despite 2 independent recounts trainee intern manager Fred Spindler could not come up with 22 jerseys. With 22 jerseys given out and only 21 in the bag after the game a very terse President Sturgess was seen to be in deep conversation with an obviously distressed Spindler. In an extraordinary move for second grade Sturgess called a press conference to say “At the moment Fred has the full backing of the committee “ When asked from the floor to comment on the rumour that Spindler had been tasked to appear before the committee on Monday night an irate Sturgess replied “ No comment” and promptly stormed out of the press tent.
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Final Score
AVOCA 55 KARIONG 13
Best & Fairest
3 Gus Mitchell
2 Josh Blackwell
1 Concs
Players’ player was Josh Blackwell
FIRST GRADE MATCH REPORT
With our semi-final position all set and the minor premiership ours for 2013 this game had no real bearing on the season. However some changes were need to be made with Maxie, Tommo, Mitch G and Jimmy all unavailable.
Speedy moved to full back and Pistol came in on the wing with Ando on the other wing. Dan & the Geeman paired up again in the centres with that blast from the past Justin Staben coming in at 5/8 for China bound Mitch Graham. The rampaging human javelin Sam Fortey was once again on the side and John Patterson from the U19’s got his first run on at 6.
In the tight 5 Josh kept the median age down whilst Oatie filled in at 8 with the Mexican WFF bound Spagbowler at the scrum base
Kariong like always were out to spoil however with a lot of changes we were never at our best. Despite that we got over for 5 tries with Speedy contributing a total of 16 points to well and truly shut the door on the despairing Dylan’s attempt to become the club’s highest point scorer for 2013.
Sherry tried out his injured calf but after a number of runs Coach Boof Jenkins rested him in favour of young U19 prop Dan Ransom.
In the tight the correctly attired and on time Conan combined well with his old partner Stretch with Oatie providing his usual solid game. Young Paddo showed glimpses of his class with the rampaging human javelin Sam Fortey growing into the no 7 role.
Our lineouts continue to cause Boof headaches and no doubt will be the focus of much training over the next few weeks.
Josh Meadham was great around the paddock being well supported by Spagbowler looking to increase his season try total
Sharapova Dan had a mighty game in defence and was well supported by the Geeman when they spread the ball
The victory gives us the week off and now for Gosford in the major semi
FINAL SCORE
AVOCA 36 KARIONG 7
Scorers
Tries
1 each to Speedy , Geeman, Josh Meadham,Stretch and Ando
Conversions
4 x Speedy
Penalty Goals
1 x Speedy
Players Player
Dan Reihana
DISCLAIMER
This weekly match report is a publication of CTF Publications, part of the Green Jade Group of Companies. The matters referred to in this report are in part the mad ravings of a disgraced former Oxford Don as well as tip bits of rumour and innuendo gathered after dark in the normally placid seaside village of Avoca Beach. Currently and without further ado this edition will be the last for 2013 given that CTF Publications may well be in liquidation by this time next week. CTF Publications will neither confirm nor deny that its financial difficulties arose when the Mexican WWF signed try scoring sensation Julio Spagbowler thereby denying CTF of its income from its well planned and lucrative blackmailing of various members of the ABRFC.
CTF Publications stands behind its reputation as the last bastion of journalistic freedom and does not and will never refer to itself as “ a rag”.
If the rumours and innuendo published in these reports are not true then they should be!
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